“Trauma, at any age, produces anatomical changes in the brain, and even if those changes do not have an obvious effect on behavior, they can still shape our deepest responses to anxiety.
“A NIMH study (discovered that) abused girls were found to have abnormally high levels of testosterone, increases in immune system abnormalities and abnormal changes in the regulation of heart rate under stress.”
Source: Lui, Aimee. Gaining: The Truth About Life After Eating Disorders.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Feeling like a "failed anorexic"
Recovery from anorexia comes with a deep sense of shame, because it feels somehow like a failure. Caroline Knapp has referred to this as “the post-anorexic riddle of identity, a sense of wild shapelessness.”
Aimee Lui writes accurately that;
“Eating disorders sabotage identity… You’ve failed to reduce yourself to a perfect object…
“For years you’ll move along just fine, gaining weight, gaining confidence, gaining all the trappings of a thriving life, and then, unexpectedly, a shadow of your past will resurface in the face of a long-lost friend or a moment on revived anxiety, and your bright new self will cringe, yearning for that old mask of perfection.”
Sheila Reindl has valuable insight into this area as well:
“We all have to integrate the light with the dark… the noble and ignoble aspects of ourselves. That’s a normal developmental task. It’s just harder for people with eating disorders.”
Source: Lui, Aimee. Gaining: The Truth About Life After Eating Disorders.
Aimee Lui writes accurately that;
“Eating disorders sabotage identity… You’ve failed to reduce yourself to a perfect object…
“For years you’ll move along just fine, gaining weight, gaining confidence, gaining all the trappings of a thriving life, and then, unexpectedly, a shadow of your past will resurface in the face of a long-lost friend or a moment on revived anxiety, and your bright new self will cringe, yearning for that old mask of perfection.”
Sheila Reindl has valuable insight into this area as well:
“We all have to integrate the light with the dark… the noble and ignoble aspects of ourselves. That’s a normal developmental task. It’s just harder for people with eating disorders.”
Source: Lui, Aimee. Gaining: The Truth About Life After Eating Disorders.
Anorexia and Bulemia
According to Shelia Reindl, “With anorexia, the act of losing weight serves as a metaphor for feeling that one is emotionally invisible… (it’s a) disciplined emptiness. So, for her, the message is that you don’t have to be perfect to be loved.
“The bulimic, on the other hand, binges and purges in secret – hiding the beast she knows is in there. The issues of shame are stronger. I think that’s why, when anorexics hit a bulimic patch in recovery or difficulties later in life, they often want to go back to the anorexia. It feels cleaner and tidier – they didn’t have to deal with all these messy feelings and conflicts.”
Reindl’s research has demonstrated that the most enduring obstacle to healing in the aftermath of anorexia and bulimia is vulnerability to a sense of not being enough, not having enough, feeling empty, unlovable, unworthy.”
Lui, Aimee. Gaining: The Truth About Life After Eating Disorders.
“The bulimic, on the other hand, binges and purges in secret – hiding the beast she knows is in there. The issues of shame are stronger. I think that’s why, when anorexics hit a bulimic patch in recovery or difficulties later in life, they often want to go back to the anorexia. It feels cleaner and tidier – they didn’t have to deal with all these messy feelings and conflicts.”
Reindl’s research has demonstrated that the most enduring obstacle to healing in the aftermath of anorexia and bulimia is vulnerability to a sense of not being enough, not having enough, feeling empty, unlovable, unworthy.”
Lui, Aimee. Gaining: The Truth About Life After Eating Disorders.
Can You Inherit Anorexia?
“Researchers often say that genetics load the gun of eating disorders, and environment pulls the trigger.”
Aimee Lui believes that genetics make the gun, environment loads it, and that an experience of unbearable trauma is what actually pulls the trigger.
Source: Lui, Aimee. Gaining: The Truth About Life After Eating Disorders.
Aimee Lui believes that genetics make the gun, environment loads it, and that an experience of unbearable trauma is what actually pulls the trigger.
Source: Lui, Aimee. Gaining: The Truth About Life After Eating Disorders.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Childhood trauma and emotional maturity
Adults often underestimate what children experience, the extent of their reactions and what they need to know.
Childhood trauma can disrupt child or adolescent development, interfering with the growth of emotional maturity. Repeated exposure to trauma can affect a child's brain and nervous system.
Children suffer a dual response:
- The impact of the trauma on themselves
- The emotional distress of a child's caregiver
Adult support is a strong protective factor. Impacted adults may make at-risk children more vulnerable.
Common trauma responses in children include impaired concentration, difficulty in learning new things, aggression, recklessness, reduced inhibitions, somatic complaints and school refusal.
It is normal for a child who has experienced trauma to:
- Be hypervigilant and constantly alert
- Be jumpy and startled easily by loud sounds and sudden noises
- Feel exhausted
- Have a worsening of chronic medical problems
- Have difficulty concentrating
- Exhibit poor judgment
- Exhibit denial of emotions or lack memory of events
Sometimes children revert to a younger developmental stage (bed-wetting, thumb-sucking, clinging). Teenagers might respond by taking on the role of a parent, acting as an adult and taking charge of the situation. Or, the teen might try to escape in sex, drugs and alcohol.
Childhood trauma can disrupt child or adolescent development, interfering with the growth of emotional maturity. Repeated exposure to trauma can affect a child's brain and nervous system.
Children suffer a dual response:
- The impact of the trauma on themselves
- The emotional distress of a child's caregiver
Adult support is a strong protective factor. Impacted adults may make at-risk children more vulnerable.
Common trauma responses in children include impaired concentration, difficulty in learning new things, aggression, recklessness, reduced inhibitions, somatic complaints and school refusal.
It is normal for a child who has experienced trauma to:
- Be hypervigilant and constantly alert
- Be jumpy and startled easily by loud sounds and sudden noises
- Feel exhausted
- Have a worsening of chronic medical problems
- Have difficulty concentrating
- Exhibit poor judgment
- Exhibit denial of emotions or lack memory of events
Sometimes children revert to a younger developmental stage (bed-wetting, thumb-sucking, clinging). Teenagers might respond by taking on the role of a parent, acting as an adult and taking charge of the situation. Or, the teen might try to escape in sex, drugs and alcohol.
Children who are traumatized can develop depression, anxiety, mood disorders and/or behavior disorders.
Source: Traumatic Stress in Children, NRCFCPPP, January 8, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
To forgive is not to forget
From E.R. Bird's book review of 'I Am Not Joey Pigza' by Jack Gantos:
"I think the important thing about this book is that it makes it clear that forgiveness is different from stupidity. You can forgive someone and remember what they put you through. Forgiveness is not the same as memory loss."
"I think the important thing about this book is that it makes it clear that forgiveness is different from stupidity. You can forgive someone and remember what they put you through. Forgiveness is not the same as memory loss."
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
The aftermath of child traumatic stress
Child traumatic stress occurs when children and adolescents are exposed to traumatic events or situations, and this exposure overwhelms their ability to cope with what they have experienced.
Traumatic events can include physical and/or sexual abuse, assault, serious accidents or illnesses and the loss of important relationships or caregivers.
The issue of trauma has only recently received attention within the juvenile justice department, and children’s services in general. For this reason, very few agencies routinely screen for trauma or offer trauma-specific treatment interventions for youth in their care.
Severe and/or long-term trauma has a chemical effect on the body which changes the body’s normal stress response into an alarm response.
As a result, young people might internalize their feelings through depression and anxiety, or act out their feelings in the form of aggression, conduct problems and oppositional/defiant behavior.
Young people are faced with the task of dealing with past trauma, recognizing its current impact and learning ways to manage or overcome the emotional and behavioral problems caused by PTSD.
Effective strategies are those that:
- Educate survivors about biochemical reactions associated with PTSD
- Empower survivors with strategies to self-regulate their response to triggers
- Encourage survivors by giving them a safe place to share their story in an atmosphere of acceptance
Source: Ford, J., et al, Trauma among youth in the juvenile justice system. National Center for Mental Health and Juvenile Justice, Research and Program Brief, June 2007.
Traumatic events can include physical and/or sexual abuse, assault, serious accidents or illnesses and the loss of important relationships or caregivers.
The issue of trauma has only recently received attention within the juvenile justice department, and children’s services in general. For this reason, very few agencies routinely screen for trauma or offer trauma-specific treatment interventions for youth in their care.
Severe and/or long-term trauma has a chemical effect on the body which changes the body’s normal stress response into an alarm response.
As a result, young people might internalize their feelings through depression and anxiety, or act out their feelings in the form of aggression, conduct problems and oppositional/defiant behavior.
Young people are faced with the task of dealing with past trauma, recognizing its current impact and learning ways to manage or overcome the emotional and behavioral problems caused by PTSD.
Effective strategies are those that:
- Educate survivors about biochemical reactions associated with PTSD
- Empower survivors with strategies to self-regulate their response to triggers
- Encourage survivors by giving them a safe place to share their story in an atmosphere of acceptance
Source: Ford, J., et al, Trauma among youth in the juvenile justice system. National Center for Mental Health and Juvenile Justice, Research and Program Brief, June 2007.
What do you think?
According to preventative psychologist JoAnn Derek, females are predisposed to experience higher levels of fear and anxiety, and remember painful experiences in greater detail than males.
Source: Keeling, Libby. Writer applies brain research to child development. Sept. 3, 2007.
Source: Keeling, Libby. Writer applies brain research to child development. Sept. 3, 2007.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Stress, Trauma and Support in Child Welfare Practice
This study from the University of Toronto measured the extent to which exposure to stress and trauma impacted social workers.
Results suggested that child welfare workers are exposed to a significant amount of traumatic stimuli and exhibit high levels of post-traumatic stress.
Results suggested that child welfare workers are exposed to a significant amount of traumatic stimuli and exhibit high levels of post-traumatic stress.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Mental Health First Aid Guidelines Project for Traumatic Events
I have been privileged by the University of Melbourne by being invited to share my insights as an expert panel member for a project titled the Mental Health First Aid Guidelines Project for Traumatic Events.
Panel members are mental health professionals and researchers, people who have experienced traumatic events in the past and who work to help others with handling trauma as part of their careers.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Eating your feelings
"There is not enough fried chicken on the planet to soothe a broken woman."
"I would eat so I didn't have to talk, drink so I didn't have to feel, smoke so I didn't have to be close to another soul."
"Nothing is better for numbing your soul than the sheer, unbridled love of the carbohydrate."
"You can eat your life into submission, or drink it down with so many bottles of wine, or smoke it away on a patio. You can look for love and respect in the eyes of another, and it still will not fill you up. This I have finally learned. Nothing will ever make you whole except you."
- Laurie Perry, Drunk, Divorced and Covered in Cat Hair
"I would eat so I didn't have to talk, drink so I didn't have to feel, smoke so I didn't have to be close to another soul."
"Nothing is better for numbing your soul than the sheer, unbridled love of the carbohydrate."
"You can eat your life into submission, or drink it down with so many bottles of wine, or smoke it away on a patio. You can look for love and respect in the eyes of another, and it still will not fill you up. This I have finally learned. Nothing will ever make you whole except you."
- Laurie Perry, Drunk, Divorced and Covered in Cat Hair
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Unfinished business
"Once in a while, a piece of old business surfaces; some item on life's agenda you thought you'd dealt with years ago.
"Suddenly, it's there again at the top of the page, competing for your attention, despite the fact that you're completely unprepared for it."
- Sue Grafton, O is for Outlaw
"Suddenly, it's there again at the top of the page, competing for your attention, despite the fact that you're completely unprepared for it."
- Sue Grafton, O is for Outlaw
Monday, October 08, 2007
Wise words from an Ohio foster care alumna
"If I'm ever gonna get over it,
first, I've got to get it out."
Kudos to the courage of this young person facing her past and working through difficulties!
first, I've got to get it out."
Kudos to the courage of this young person facing her past and working through difficulties!
Friday, October 05, 2007
Quotes from Torey Hayden book "Twilight Children"
A friend of mine was sexually abused as a child, and she has never talked about it. She doesn't want anyone to know. She has been reunified with her mother after a stint in foster care, but doesn't trust her mother to be able to handle the knowledge.
Her counselor is ready, willing and able to help her -- but she finds it difficult to open up her mouth and speak about what happened.
After a traumatic experience, when you discuss these things, it is painful, because you find yourself reliving it all over again. The violation. The fear. The feelings of powerless.
This is because traumatic experiences encode themselves in the brain via images and emotions, not words. We remember the taste, the touch, the sight, the sound...
But it is by giving them words, verbalizing the experience, that we are able to lasso these huge, powerful, scary experiences and get them under control.
After our phone conversation, I sent this young woman the following quote by Torey Hayden, from her book Twilight Children. Torey is talking with a young girl named Cassandra, and she says:
"What's wrong with you is inside of you. So, wherever you go, your trouble goes inside of you...
"Some really awful things have happened to you. Things children shouldn't have to experience... (Now) you are just trying to protect that troubled place inside of you, because it hurts so much, and you don't want it to get hurt again."
Torey continues:
"Unfortunately, there is a really big problem in doing this. And the problem is: You've protected your troubled place so well that you've ended up taking its side."
"Our minds are kind of funny things. When something big happens to us, it tends to stay really big in our minds and won't become a proper memory unless we talk about it. Our minds, on our own, don't seem to be able to get big events sorted out enough to squish them down to size with our other memories. We need to talk about it.
"Talking helps our minds to organize what happened... It lets us put away things that have happened to us, so they aren't in the way every time we are thinking.
"We talk about them until our mind gets organized about what happened. Then, they're not such a big deal anymore. Finally, they start to feel like ordinary memories and we can stop thinking about them all the time.
"We don't forget them, (but) they stop taking up all our thinking... (so) we can get on with what's happening now in our lives and not worry any more about it."
"BUT just the opposite happens if we have to keep something big a secret. First of all, we have to create a special place in our minds to keep it... chock full of all the stuff we can't tell...
"You have to lock it up really tight, so even you can't get there very easily. And if you don't, then you don't have any room in your mind for other thinking."
"When you first do it, first create a Troubled Place and manage to get it locked up, it's easy to think you've made it go away.
"But the fact is... just the opposite is true... Everything you put in there, it keeps really fresh, like its just happened. So, if you accidentally crack open the door... everything will hurt horribly all over again."
"What happened to you... didn't happen to you because you are a bad person. It didn't make you a bad person because it happened. It just happened.
"And now it's time for it to be OVER. It's time to open the door on the troubled place and clean all that junk out. Not to throw it away, because those memories are a part of your memories, part of what makes you 'you.'
"But it's time to make them ordinary. To talk about them until you understand how you felt, what you feel did, what other people did.
"To talk about them until there aren't any secrets left in your Troubled Place to stay fresh and scary, to talk until you're bored with them. That will turn them into ordinary memories, like all the rest of memories in your life."
Her counselor is ready, willing and able to help her -- but she finds it difficult to open up her mouth and speak about what happened.
After a traumatic experience, when you discuss these things, it is painful, because you find yourself reliving it all over again. The violation. The fear. The feelings of powerless.
This is because traumatic experiences encode themselves in the brain via images and emotions, not words. We remember the taste, the touch, the sight, the sound...
But it is by giving them words, verbalizing the experience, that we are able to lasso these huge, powerful, scary experiences and get them under control.
After our phone conversation, I sent this young woman the following quote by Torey Hayden, from her book Twilight Children. Torey is talking with a young girl named Cassandra, and she says:
"What's wrong with you is inside of you. So, wherever you go, your trouble goes inside of you...
"Some really awful things have happened to you. Things children shouldn't have to experience... (Now) you are just trying to protect that troubled place inside of you, because it hurts so much, and you don't want it to get hurt again."
Torey continues:
"Unfortunately, there is a really big problem in doing this. And the problem is: You've protected your troubled place so well that you've ended up taking its side."
"Our minds are kind of funny things. When something big happens to us, it tends to stay really big in our minds and won't become a proper memory unless we talk about it. Our minds, on our own, don't seem to be able to get big events sorted out enough to squish them down to size with our other memories. We need to talk about it.
"Talking helps our minds to organize what happened... It lets us put away things that have happened to us, so they aren't in the way every time we are thinking.
"We talk about them until our mind gets organized about what happened. Then, they're not such a big deal anymore. Finally, they start to feel like ordinary memories and we can stop thinking about them all the time.
"We don't forget them, (but) they stop taking up all our thinking... (so) we can get on with what's happening now in our lives and not worry any more about it."
"BUT just the opposite happens if we have to keep something big a secret. First of all, we have to create a special place in our minds to keep it... chock full of all the stuff we can't tell...
"You have to lock it up really tight, so even you can't get there very easily. And if you don't, then you don't have any room in your mind for other thinking."
"When you first do it, first create a Troubled Place and manage to get it locked up, it's easy to think you've made it go away.
"But the fact is... just the opposite is true... Everything you put in there, it keeps really fresh, like its just happened. So, if you accidentally crack open the door... everything will hurt horribly all over again."
"What happened to you... didn't happen to you because you are a bad person. It didn't make you a bad person because it happened. It just happened.
"And now it's time for it to be OVER. It's time to open the door on the troubled place and clean all that junk out. Not to throw it away, because those memories are a part of your memories, part of what makes you 'you.'
"But it's time to make them ordinary. To talk about them until you understand how you felt, what you feel did, what other people did.
"To talk about them until there aren't any secrets left in your Troubled Place to stay fresh and scary, to talk until you're bored with them. That will turn them into ordinary memories, like all the rest of memories in your life."
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Men and fear of intimacy
"She prefers the senseless pain that we inflict on each other to the pain that we might otherwise inflict upon ourselves."
- William Hurt, Altered States
"Too many women mistake a man's hostility for wit and his silence for depth."
- Sue Grafton, L is for Lawless
- William Hurt, Altered States
"Too many women mistake a man's hostility for wit and his silence for depth."
- Sue Grafton, L is for Lawless
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Sunday, September 02, 2007
More Quotes from The Unsayable
- "At first, words are babbling stream of sound. And though very young children play with words and sounds in turn-taking rhythms with others, they don't use language with the purpose of communicating.
"But as a child begins to see that words can make things happen, can call forth specific response from others, she is able to make what Lacan calls 'a demand.' This is a request for recognition of what she means and for a response that affirms she is loved."
- "Provided with food and warmth, yet without recognition or any evidence of love, a child will become lethargic, stop growing and even die. The capacity to ask for something, and make herself understood, is crucial to a child's sense of being loved. But making a demand requires a risk; the other person may not understand, or may understand and say no."
Source: The Unsayable by Annie G. Rogers, PhD
"But as a child begins to see that words can make things happen, can call forth specific response from others, she is able to make what Lacan calls 'a demand.' This is a request for recognition of what she means and for a response that affirms she is loved."
- "Provided with food and warmth, yet without recognition or any evidence of love, a child will become lethargic, stop growing and even die. The capacity to ask for something, and make herself understood, is crucial to a child's sense of being loved. But making a demand requires a risk; the other person may not understand, or may understand and say no."
Source: The Unsayable by Annie G. Rogers, PhD
Quotes from The Unsayable
"Although some see me as an 'expert' on trauma, I'm not. Trauma is bigger than expertise of any sort - it's in our midst, in our language, our wars, even the ways we try to love, repeating, repeating. No one is an expert on trauma."
"Even then I had a reputation for reaching 'unreachable' children... If a child is suffering, in that quiet invisible way that children really do suffer, I am drawn to find that child and make contact. Maybe I am going back to myself as a child... I simply won't be turned away."
"In my practice I want to hear children in a way that invites them to say more, to find words for the unsayable - and this necessarily means listening to the unconscious."
"I gradually learned that trauma follows a different logic, a condensed psychological logic that is associative, layered, nonlinear, and highly metaphoric."
"Trauma is a letter written on the body in vanishing ink.... a message emerges that demands to be read, to be known."
Source: The Unsayable by Annie G. Rogers, PhD
"Even then I had a reputation for reaching 'unreachable' children... If a child is suffering, in that quiet invisible way that children really do suffer, I am drawn to find that child and make contact. Maybe I am going back to myself as a child... I simply won't be turned away."
"In my practice I want to hear children in a way that invites them to say more, to find words for the unsayable - and this necessarily means listening to the unconscious."
"I gradually learned that trauma follows a different logic, a condensed psychological logic that is associative, layered, nonlinear, and highly metaphoric."
"Trauma is a letter written on the body in vanishing ink.... a message emerges that demands to be read, to be known."
Source: The Unsayable by Annie G. Rogers, PhD
Sunday, August 19, 2007
The Myth of Child Resiliency
Bruce Perry has made it his life's work to understand how trauma affects children, and to develop innovative ways to help them cope with it. In 1996, he founded the Child Trauma Academy, since research demonstrates that the impact of PTSD is far greater on on children than it is on adults.
Children can recover from unspeakable trauma -- but adults' responses to children during and after traumatic events can greatly affect their chances of recovery.
Quotes from The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog:
- "It's hard to imagine today, but when I was in medical school in the early 1980's, researchers didn't pay much attention to the lasting damage that psychological trauma can produce. Even less consideration was given to how trauma mgiht harm children. It wasn't considered relevant. Children were believed to be naturally "resilient" with an innate ability to "bounce back."
- "The brain is a historical organ. It stores our personal narrative. Our life experiences shape who we become by creating our brain's catalog of template memories, which guide our behavior, sometimes in ways we can consciously recognize, more often via processes beyond our awareness."
- "if anything, children are more vulnerable to trauma than adults... Resilient children are made, not born. The developing brain is most malleable and sensitive to experiences - both good and bad - early in life."
- "Children become resilient as a result of the patterns of stress and nurturing that they experience early on in life... we are rapidly and easily transformed by trauma when we are young. Though its effects may not always be visible to the untrained eye, when you know what trauma can do to children, sadly, you begin to see its aftermath everywhere."
- "Ultimately, what determines how children survive trauma, physically, emotionally , or psychologically, is whether the people around them - particularly the adults they should be able to trust and rely upon - stand by them with love, support and encouragement."
The story in this book that most deeply affected me as a reader was one about a three-year-old girl named Sandy who witnessed her mother's murder, and almost died herself.
Yet, her CPS caseworker did not believe that she needed to see a mental health professional. For nine months, Sandy was moved from foster home to foster home, with no counseling whatsoever -- and the details of her life were not shared with any of her foster parents because she was in hiding from the murderer.
Children can recover from unspeakable trauma -- but adults' responses to children during and after traumatic events can greatly affect their chances of recovery.
Quotes from The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog:
- "It's hard to imagine today, but when I was in medical school in the early 1980's, researchers didn't pay much attention to the lasting damage that psychological trauma can produce. Even less consideration was given to how trauma mgiht harm children. It wasn't considered relevant. Children were believed to be naturally "resilient" with an innate ability to "bounce back."
- "The brain is a historical organ. It stores our personal narrative. Our life experiences shape who we become by creating our brain's catalog of template memories, which guide our behavior, sometimes in ways we can consciously recognize, more often via processes beyond our awareness."
- "if anything, children are more vulnerable to trauma than adults... Resilient children are made, not born. The developing brain is most malleable and sensitive to experiences - both good and bad - early in life."
- "Children become resilient as a result of the patterns of stress and nurturing that they experience early on in life... we are rapidly and easily transformed by trauma when we are young. Though its effects may not always be visible to the untrained eye, when you know what trauma can do to children, sadly, you begin to see its aftermath everywhere."
- "Ultimately, what determines how children survive trauma, physically, emotionally , or psychologically, is whether the people around them - particularly the adults they should be able to trust and rely upon - stand by them with love, support and encouragement."
The story in this book that most deeply affected me as a reader was one about a three-year-old girl named Sandy who witnessed her mother's murder, and almost died herself.
Yet, her CPS caseworker did not believe that she needed to see a mental health professional. For nine months, Sandy was moved from foster home to foster home, with no counseling whatsoever -- and the details of her life were not shared with any of her foster parents because she was in hiding from the murderer.
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