Thursday, April 09, 2020

Resources from Finding Hope Consulting, Inc.

“The more healthy relationships a child has, the more likely he will be able to recover from trauma and thrive. Relationships are the agents of change and the most powerful therapy is human love.”
- Dr. Bruce Perry




“There’s A Hole In My Sidewalk: Autobiography In Five Short Chapters” 
~ Portia Nelson adapted by Finding Hope Consulting Inc. 

Chapter I 
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in. I am lost … I am helpless.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II 
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III 
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit … but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV 
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V 
I walk down another street.

Wednesday, April 08, 2020

You aren't at the mercy of your emotions — your brain creates them

The TED Talk that I chose for my personal and professional growth was:

Lisa Feldman Barrett’s TED Talk re: “You aren't at the mercy of your emotions — your brain creates them.”
I chose this because I’m a gal who struggles with anxiety and perfectionism.

Here are my Top Five Takeaways:

1.) The emotions we experience are “guesses” that our brain constructs in the moment, based on experiences that we had in the past. We have more control over these guesses than we might think we do. She said that, “Sometimes we are responsible for something not because we are to blame, but because we are the only ones who can fix it.”

2.) Our brains have a default mode that starts with “What is this most like in my past experience?”  It makes great sense logically that our brain uses past experiences with similar situations to generate meaning and make predictions.

3.) Predictions are primal - and they help us make sense of the world in a speedy and efficient way. The link between what we are experiencing in the moment, and what this looked like in the past is something that happens in the blink of an eye. Our brains are hard-wired to repurpose raw emotions into proactive action.

4.) She gave the example of students getting ready to take a test: A hammering heartbeat could lead to crippling anxiety, or that adrenaline could be galvanized into proactive action. Responding to anxious feelings in the moment by taking energized determination; which then seeds the brain to respond differently in the future. She said that, “This is an example of emotional intelligence in action.”

5.) She talked about “Being the architect of your experience” and how new knowledge can be provided to help provide a better picture (i.e. image of blobs vs. image of snake). She said that there are ways to cultivate emotional intelligence and use it in everyday life. She said she wasn’t suggesting a Jedi mind trick, but rather, “The next time you feel intense distress: Could this have a physical cause? Is there a way to reframe emotional distress as possibly due to physical discomfort?”

And then the TED talk was over. And my immediate primal response in that moment was, “Lisa Feldman Barrett, you just stopped talking right when you got to the good part.”  Fortunately, her book is available as an e-book on Overdrive, so I just checked it out!